“I am my safe place and I trust my body to keep me safe”
When we stress, are anxious, panicking , worrying etc. it is because we are not trusting. We are not believing in OURSELVES enough. We are not putting any faith or trust in the universe. The list is pretty endless but it really comes down to ourselves or the trust we try to put outside of ourselves.
I made up and have been saying this affirmation to myself a hell of lot lately, mainly because I have been needing the constant reminder.
You see, when we don’t have faith in ourselves, to keep us safe, to make the right decisions, to do the right thing and say the right thing blah blah blah – that is when stress and anxiety and all those other nasty shitty things come creeping in. We may not even realise that is the reason why we keep feeling those things but it is truly that we do not trust, in ourselves and just as importantly we don’t trust in the Big U.
Now trusting in the Big U and just expecting everything and not doing anything to help and wondering why nothing happens is completely different. It is a co-creation every step of the way so if you are not doing the work or prepared then not much else is going to happen. All that will happen is the same old shit, possibly a different bucket but still the same crappy circumstances. If you are willing to meet somewhere along the path, then magic can happen.
What I really wanted to talk about though was not trusting in yourself. To give you an example – In the deepest pits of my panic, it affected my eating, I must of panicked one time when eating and then I avoided it as I didn’t want to have another and then it became such a bad habit that I pretty much forgot what it was like to even eat – I am talking almost 14 years of not eating normal food. I was worse than a baby trying ‘solids’ for the first time. I would literally joke that my niece was eating better than me at 6 months of age – and she was.
When you started peeling back all of the layers, sure heaps of different stuff came up and kept coming up and then more layers and reasons and scenarios kept cropping up. When you kept peeling though, the big fundamental reason why I was doing that – is I felt I couldn’t keep myself safe. That I would manage to make myself choke and die. Literally that is what it came down to. I didn’t trust myself at the most basic of levels for survival…
So what chance did I have of surviving, if I couldn’t trust myself to keep me alive? Now that is an extreme example, mainly because I kept refusing to deep dive until it got to that level of learning and desperation.
Instead I looked to others for safety, for places to make me feel safe, and while it was okay for the first little while – slowly you start to give away your power, it leaches out of you while you cling to this person or that safe hidey hole until you are left with not much left in the power tank.
And that can be when rock bottom hits… Or you may be so stubborn that they have to throw a few more curve balls at you till you are willing to swan dive off into the shadow lands and reclaim yourself.
Now I have been deep sea diving for a good long while, rather than band aid over the cracks, I have knocked that cracking crumbling foundation to the ground and started afresh with a beautiful looking, strong as hell base.
But even now that trusting and safe place issue can still crop up – in the traffic when I feel stuck, in situations where I feel overwhelmed and just want to run away screaming, when something knocks me for six and I go back to old habits, the list goes on.
So I am sitting here thinking – I AM my safe place and I trust in my body to keep me safe.
And you know what – It totally has! I am still here alive and kicking – even through everything that has happened and then some. So it has totally done its job, above and beyond really when you think about it.
So I invite you to deep sea dive with me and really ask yourself – why do I not feel safe?
Why am I allowing past stuff that has happened screw with thinking that I am my safe place and that I trust my body to keep me safe?
What am I still holding onto?
Why I am not trusting the Universe/God/ Spirit/Big U – whatever you want to call ‘it’ and therefore running my life scared?
Why am I coming from a place of fear rather than love?
Really ponder those questions and see what comes up. There will be a lot of childhood stuff that I am sure will pop up. There may even be past lives stuff that come up. I know for me, this is my first time in a body so it can be hard to realise that I am completely my own safe place and to trust in this foreign thing called a body. Who knows what will come up for you, but honour whatever does and then let it gently go. Simply recognising what is coming up is enough to create an incredible shift.
Either way, you need to CHOOSE now that you will no longer let old shit, outside influencers or yourself affect your safe place – which is YOU! You are completely capable of looking after yourself and keeping yourself utterly safe, if only you begin to trust yourself more.
Even if you make a ‘mistake’, there is still no reason to throw yourself overboard. You wouldn’t do that to a small child or helpless animal – so why would you do it to yourself? You can learn from anything if you allow it, and need I remind you that through it all, you are still alive and kicking- so totally SAFE!
Allow yourself to feel completely 100% safe, will there be some side shuffles back into fear territory? – probably, we are human after all. But come back to I AM my safe place and I trust my body to keep me safe each and every time you feel those stressy vibes start to get their hooks into you.
Everything we feel is a choice. Sometimes it is easier to make the loved based,right choice when we are feeling amazing and everything seems to be going fab, but it is not always easy when it is the opposite – but that typically is when we need it the most.
That feeling, will be that hand that is being held out to you and lifting you up when you fall in a heap on the floor, or banging your head against the hardest surface. Imagine how empowering and magical it would feel – knowing that hand that is being ‘held out’ is your own damn hand.
Go and be your own saviour, go and be your own rescue centre. Know that no matter what you have or haven’t got on you, or where you are or what you do – YOU have your own back and are completely safe (and cherished).
Now be your own temple, your safety hub, your own police station/fire truck and hospital all rolled into one.
You totally have this, you wouldn’t be walking this life if you didn’t. So own it, love it and most importantly live it.
Till next time… keep walking your spiritual path xx
And yes it can be as easy as deciding it is so.