Feels like a Dear Diary entry

I am a Guardian Angel and part of my ‘mission’ is to talk about Angels, yet if you were to look at my posts and so forth – you may be hard pressed to know that about me. Don’t get me wrong, I still, I guess bring that Angelic energy of mine to anything I write and say but it isn’t always the same.

I sometimes look to those that are known as the expert and I kinda non angelically say to myself, Hello, you want an expert (while waving my arms in the air) but how the hell is anyone to know??? Face palming at its finest.

The last couple of days, I really got to thinking why or what is lurking in the background to stop me from jumping into my full potential…

 

To start really delving into the topic of Angels means that I am doing part of my purpose, which means stepping up and out and having all that brings with it… Am I ready for that, I keep telling myself yes but hey looky here – she is still talking about everything BUT Angels!!! So clearly the thought terrifies me still. But really who am I to deny those that want to read my stuff? Who am I to deny myself and my family to not write about them.

It is also deeply personal for me. It is my family after all who I am talking about and in some way, I kinda want to keep that for myself. They are so deep and meaningful to me that I just want to hold onto them for myself just a little longer. It also means delving and discovering things that am I ready to see/hear/feel? Clearly not.

Sharing also means gathering as above which makes my little ego warrior stand up tall and go pfft like what your saying is right or anyone wants to hear. And while my gorgeous little ego warrior is a bestie nowadays, she still makes me cower a little when things like that come out and makes me want to go you are totally right, lets just leave this awesome knowledge deep inside and keep living small. Problem with that is there is no way that can happen any longer – so a little tug of war starts between my soul and my ego warrior. Which is super awesome (sarcasm included).

Another thing that comes to mind is so many people have Angel something or rather in their title, and talk about Angels non stop- which makes me not want to join the masses. Like at all. But then I remember that we are all different in our own unique way and all amazing in our own way so who cares right? It is the same that we are all men or women, we carry that same title but when it drills down to it, we are all totally different. You get the idea anyway.

Most of all, I want to do justice to my family. Even thinking about how strong my connection is now, is bringing tears of joy to my eyes. Will I do them justice, will I make them proud or will God sit up there thinking ‘Why in the hell did we send her down for’ (totally said in my ego warriors voice of course). The only way I will not do them justice is by NOT talking about them.

So this is me taking that first step in talking about them and really making myself accountable. This is me honouring my souls plea to not necessarily start but to keep moving along that path, just a bit more. To start uncovering the layers within to reveal the memories and getting help from the fam when needed to start bringing you more about Angels and plenty of other stuff as well. And also for myself, sometimes our purpose for others is exactly what we also need.

Till next time… keep walking your spiritual path xx