Conditional Commitment

I had one of those moments last night and this morning, you know where you completely blow something out of proportion, or take something to heart – in other words be completely human!

My partner came round last night and I have been doing some huge soul searching around our relationship the last few days, so I am guessing that added to my vulnerability. And funnily enough every ‘solution’ given to me from myself and my spiritual pit crew went way to the kerb and I reacted like I wasn’t the evolved being that I am.

You see my partner has been a cranky pants of late, moaning, groaning and being negative about everything and anything he can get his hands on. And it gets me frustrated as I pick up on it and decide to join him in the negative nelly ranks rather than find a way to either ignore or pick him gently up and bring him over to the light side.

The nail on the coffin last night was when I finally gave him a beautiful poem I had written for our 9 year anniversary but hadn’t had the guts to give him till this moment. A moment of which was already feeling pretty down in the dumps (such good timing on my behalf!) It bared my soul to him in the ways in which I would always choose him and us and yet when I asked him if he chose me in return, and he made a joke about it – in that moment I chose to react badly (think little girl pout and all) and not choose him in that moment at all.

It continued to this morning, even after he left, in which he gave me a beautiful goodbye kiss (which I chose to kinda ignore) when I started checking my phone for all the wonderful positivity etc stuff that I have come up on my phone.

Funnily enough there was a new Youtube video by Brad Yates – Tapping extraordinaire (if you have never used his vids – go check him out, he is the best). All I could see on my phone was Conditional Commitment, and I realised in these petty moments I have been having, I was indeed choosing to only commit to my partner if he said the words back, if he acted like I wanted to him to act, the list goes on. The weirdest thing? The tapping video was about conditional commitments on your to do list – in other words, nothing to do with my issue and yet it helped me in such a profound way to get out of my head and into my heart. And had the added bonus of being the perfect video for me, as I also have an issue with procrastination sometimes, so it was a big double whammy, and after doing the vid I have knocked out two blogs, so thanks!!!!

Now back to the issue at hand…

Don’t get me wrong, I needed to feel these emotions and feelings, no matter whether they were the whole truth or not, but I also needed to take a giant step back after it and look at it properly and not from my hurt self.

No one is perfect, I surely am not (although I am imperfectly perfect J) so why was I seeking out perfection in my partner? Why wasn’t I taking him for what he is at this point in time, and only concentrating on how to not let myself get caught up in his feelings. Because me changing myself and my mood because of him – that is ALL on me, that is my issue and not his at all.

So now I have taken a step back from my woe is me state and realised some things. 1. It is time to let my love be unconditional 2. He shows me chooses me all the time in the actions that he does and sometimes says – it is my problem if I choose not to see them or acknowledge them when I am in a mood 3. There is some work to be done on my boundaries and way of being, so that I am not swayed like this from anyone. There are more but you get the drift.

So next time something happens around your relationships, feel the grrr, then take a step back and look for the lessons. I promise you that you will find them and grow from it.

I surely have, and now it is time to send lots of love to my man AND practice what I preach.

Till next time… keep walking your spiritual path xx

Advertisements

22 comments

  1. jennyoveson · January 17

    Reblogged this on ~The Pink Lemonade Ladies~.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Soul Gifts · January 17

    Relationships are such wonderful learning grounds, aren’they! Spiritual pit crew – love that !! Might have to pinch that one from you 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  3. andy1076 · January 17

    My gf and I have some of these moments too, where we might not see eye to eye or seem like we aren’t looking into each other’s hearts completely, But it’s in those difficult times that we are also reminded how much we need and love each other 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Masoom Jethwa · January 17

    Commitments are always cute.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Eddie Two Hawks · January 19

    Funny how relationships can guide you through life’s many lessons.
    wonderful story and synopsis

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Writer in progress · January 23

    Beautifully written…
    Thank you for stopping by

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Fairy Kumar · January 23

    Thanks for stopping by.
    You have a great blog👌

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Julxrp · January 23

    Beautifully written. Reading it, I was reminded of that Ronan Keating song – You say it best, when you say nothing at all.
    Your feels weren’t wrong. I’m firmly under the impression that women need that affirmation from their partner from time to time. But can’t be like this guy. https://julxrp.wordpress.com/2014/05/10/the-gift/ 😉

    Liked by 2 people

  9. usathroughoureyes · January 23

    When I first began reading this article I paused wondering where it was going. Then, as I progressed my curiosity brought me to such a wonderful ending. Isn’t love grand. We/I believe it is and as some of the above comments say it comes back to us and how are we acting and reacting. My partner, my lover, my friend is one that I trust and believe will always share with me what I need to hear and not what I want to hear. We help each other grow in an environment of acceptance and respect with its end result deeper love. So glad you stopped by our site so we could grow and learn from your site. It is ALWAYS joy to see life through others eyes and words.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. dray0308 · February 15

    Reblogged this on Dream Big, Dream Often and commented:
    Aria-Bella Rises never disappoints!!

    Like

  11. Sonyo Estavillo · February 15

    This was great because it shows that you are introspective enough to see these things come to light. If we live in denial it’s hard to see things clearly, because our perspective is tainted by rose colored lenses. I wanted to mention on a side note that my daughter’s name is Ariabella! I haven’t heard anyone else have that name until now. What a way for the universe to connect us. I look forward to reading more of your posts. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Persephone Rose · April 6

    So relatable.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s