It is amazing how certain circumstances that seem completely random can all come together to bring something new into your life.
Yesterday I had a wonderful Harmonising Session where you work on an issue to change the energy and vibration in your body and replace it with something that you want in a beautiful positive way. I for some unknown reason at the time, decided to work on my panic. I wouldn’t usually choose to use that as I know how much of a hold they have and that there are so many other issues surrounding it that it is just not a good idea to rock the leaky boat. So it was quite surprising when the words left my mouth but I rolled with them and went through with the session working on that.
It was absolutely incredible and left me feeling so great, but not long after the intense panic started as if it decided it wanted to punish me for trying to get rid of it. I had another session with another wonderful lady a couple of hours later so was worried about how this was going to affect it and how I would go feeling this out of control with panic. As one moment I seemed to be okay and was able let it go and allow and then would be in a loop of panic I just couldn’t feel I could get out of.
I am glad I decided to go through with it as she reminded me that my feelings of being unsafe and so forth were rolled up in the panic so it would be triggering those feelings inside of me too, not just the energy of the panic leaving my system energetically. We went through with our session, which is an incredible journey into your feelings in your body and doing some work around to feel, acknowledge and listen to what it has to say. We went through our session and after doing a different area of feeling, I realised the tingly fingers and lips that I get when I am in full meltdown panic mode were rearing their head so we decided to see where it would take us.
I thought for sure that this would bring up the unsafe feelings but did my best to let that thought go and let it tell me instead. WOW! It started by looking at bit like Marvin the Martian from the cartoon shows, minus the helmet, mixed in with a bit of alien and glow worm of all things. It felt gruff, angry and closed off but at the same time felt incredibly old, wise and almost god like. I realised this is where I was storing all the anger I couldn’t ever seem to express in real life and once I acknowledged it, all of a sudden the green alien transformed into this old man with grey hair and beard who was carrying a staff and was wearing a white loin cloth. He felt quite feeble but that didn’t sit entirely right. The knowledge and power I knew was just bubbling under the surface felt incredible and completely at odds with what I was seeing.
It got even more stranger when I messaged my Super J mentor about it as it had completely spun me out and she reminded me of the fact that I had been muttering about Druids, Wizards and Warlocks during my session with her but couldn’t work out why I was even saying it or what it was about, just that it was coming to me, that was when it clicked that something was going on here.
After that chat, I sat with what I was feeling, as I wasn’t quite sure if it was a guide, indeed God or one of my own archetypes presenting itself. Funnily enough Super J had given us a skill called body pendulum, only the night before in a Masters Class she runs, where you really sit in with the thought/question etc. and get your body (intuition) to answer for you by way of yes or no much like a normal pendulum. So I did this and discovered it was a guide and a very powerful one at that, and that he was only showing himself as a feeble old man so that I wouldn’t turn tail and run – smart cookie.
It made me realise that sometimes the things we choose to run away from should be what we are stopping and turning towards, whether to get through what we are feeling to release it, or in this case, meet a guide who has been waiting to come to me and it took these intense strangely weird circumstances for him to be able to show himself and me to actually take notice of him. I am looking forward to working with him and already he has given me some awe inspiring information that I am still processing as we speak and the best thing? The overwhelming panic completely left after discovering him. Maybe next time you think to turn and run that other way, when something feels to hard or you really don’t want to deal with it – perhaps it is time to pull up, turn and see what it has to say to you, it just may surprise you.
Till next time…keep walking your spiritual path xx