I lived as a victim for over half of my life – there I said it. I allowed myself to be imprisoned in my mental illness, thinking that it was something outside of myself that was creating it. I gave over to the ‘why me’, ‘why do these things keep happening to me’, gave in to the dramas and still wondered how I could get out of it, as if a third party was responsible for creating this.
During these moments, I never once took responsibility for any of it. I wallowed in all the shit instead. But let me let you in on a little secret… I was allowing myself to be a victim, I was the one responsible for getting myself together. I was the one creating it, and I was the one allowing it to continue. It was me that was allowing past experiences to live big and strong in my mind and I blamed everyone else around me but the person truly responsible… Getting the theme here… It was ME!!!!
Once I realised this, I could start working my way towards not being a victim. Now don’t get me wrong, it is a work in progress and I still have a habit to first start laying the blame elsewhere than at my own feet. The difference is I recognise it now and work on it accordingly
So what can you do?
Step up – Yes bad things may have happened to you, or people treated you horribly, but you hashing over them, letting them live inside and letting them win is all on you. No one else but you. So are you going to let them win or accept that bad things have happened but it is time to let go and move on? And grow from the experiences.
Accept – By taking responsibility, you are allowing for acceptance to come into your life. Don’t use this as another self-blasting – oh I can’t believe I let myself do this for so long etc. Instead just accept. Accept you let it get out of hand, accept that you are now taking responsibility for your life, accept that you are you – supposed warts and all.
Soap box – Ever get the feeling that your life feels like an episode of Days of Our Lives (insert your own soap drama here) and you can never get off the cheese wheel? Look at why there always seems to be dramas (big and small) happening. Why are you creating this in your life? Really dig deep… You will find that it will usually stem back to your childhood or how your parents acted. If so work through it, journal it, feel those feelings and then take responsibility that you don’t want this in your life anymore and let it go.
Why Me? Because you are unknowingly soaking up those big juicy bubbles of woe. I think everyone, victim or not, has uttered these words a time or two. Whether it is over a small thing like – why me for a flat tire, to big things like why me to suffer from this illness – This is a great way of keeping you down in that dreaded mentality. Why me? Because YOU are creating it. What vibes you put out, are guaranteed to come back to you. Think instead about what positive things you want for your life, like they’ve happened. When you start to say the why me – ask yourself why am I manifesting this, what can I do about it, what block is this trying to show me. Remembering that everything that happens can bring positive lessons will also help to break the chain.
EGO – You my friend have let Ego take the drivers reins rather than standing behind you, only piping up when it needs to. Your Ego only knows how to be quite negative, it only knows how to perceive danger and try and keep you safe, get my drift? It is not the one part of you that is going to wrap you in a nice warm hug or say it is ok. So in other words you have been feeding your beast rather than the beauty. It is hard to move Ego back to its rightful place, but slowly and gently. Let it know that you are grateful for it but you are going to try and do this for a change. Being grateful and loving will get you much further than being frustrated and angry.
Only you can change how you are. Yes stuff happens, that is life but it is up to you how you let it affect you. Are you going to let it keep you as a victim or are you going to rise from it? You need to go through the downs to appreciate the ups. You need to learn how to cry so you can enjoy a laugh… There is a positive lesson in EVERYTHING. Maybe it is time to let go?
Till next time…keep walking your spiritual path xx