I wasn’t going to even try and blog today as feeling quite flat and a little bit frustrated with the love of my life but a fabulous lady encouraged me to start writing as it may just bring out something wonderful, and for your sakes, let’s hope so!
I realised as my frustrations are here and not wanting to leave just yet, that it is so easy to fall back on old habits of ‘arguments’ or processes during those peaky times. It is so easy to play the ‘ what did I do’ and all those me, me, me ego based thoughts.
Honestly though, this isn’t about me at all and it was only after venting for a while and really writing it all down including all the f bombs I could get my hands on that I came to the conclusion that I have to let this go. I could let it eat away at me and I could come up with all those worst case scenarios, fights and talks in my head. I could go to him and plead my apparent case or get just as angry as he is. But ultimately it is up to him, not me and it probably would not make a lick of difference, except maybe make it worse than it needs to be. I could make a mountain out of a molehill but I am choosing the higher road today.
I am choosing to put into action my new ways of being, that I can keep going during those fairly cruisy everyday days, but seem to fall to the wayside when the proverbial shit hits the fan.
I have allowed myself to feel annoyed, frustrating, pulling my hair out angry. I have got it all out on paper, without going into worst case scenarios of this is it, it is all over etc. etc. so that I can now release and let it go and come to some logical conclusions, after a lovely deep cleansing breathe!
I am not going to even acknowledge, plan an attack or doing any of the usual things I would normally do. I will happily let him stew in his own juices while I get on with being happy and content because I do not want to be in a soap opera, especially right before Christmas.
So I am choosing myself and happiness. I am choosing to see the positives in this and let him deal with the negatives he has created all on his own. I won’t be able to change it so I am not going to waste precious energy and time on the negative side of things. I am sending lots of positivity, love and white light his way and know he is my all. So I am not going to sweat the small stuff.
I have also done a wonderful little visualisation of us being happy, peaceful and in love as if it has already happened to counteract this little hiccup.
Next time you are having a similar moment, why don’t you try a new way of being, or let me know of the positive ways you deal with situations like this, whether it be with your partner, friend, family member or work mate.
Remember don’t sweat the small stuff and make it any bigger than it needs to.
Till next time… keep walking your spiritual path xx